Before starting your fertility journey
Share
Once you've decided to start trying to conceive, the first and most important step is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you want to approach this journey together. By discussing things in advance, you can better understand each other's thoughts and hopes, and work cooperatively as a team. Here, we introduce six key points to talk about.
Table of Contents:
- When to Start Trying
- Checking Your Health
- Methods and Timeframe for Trying
- How to Support Each Other
- Having the Right Knowledge
- Letting Go of the Hardships and Sadness of Trying
When to Start Trying
Decide together when to begin your fertility journey, taking into account your work, career, lifestyle, and health conditions. For example, discuss factors that might affect your timing, such as work busyness or financial stability, and share this information openly. Having a "shared understanding" is essential.
Although society advocates for gender equality, the realities of pregnancy and childbirth are not equal between men and women. Especially for men, opportunities to learn about pregnancy and childbirth can be limited, so it's important to make an effort to acquire accurate knowledge as much as possible.
Checking Your Health
Do you get a "health checkup" every year?
Trying to conceive isn't just about getting pregnant—it's about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting that follow. To ensure a healthy parenting journey ahead, it's important to check for any health issues that might affect your future life, such as lifestyle diseases or infectious diseases like hepatitis. If necessary, seek appropriate treatment or take action.
Also, it's a good idea to review and improve your lifestyle habits, including diet, exercise, and stress management.
Methods and Timeframe for Trying
It's also important to talk about what methods you want to try and how long you're willing to continue. Will you aim to conceive naturally on your own at first? Or will you consider fertility treatments depending on the situation? Sharing your opinions and aligning your expectations as a couple is key.
If you do consider fertility treatments, discuss how far you're willing to go, until what age, and also consider the medical costs and treatment duration involved.
How to Support Each Other
During the fertility journey, it's common to feel emotionally drained by the ups and downs that happen month to month.
Women often worry about whether ovulation is happening properly, whether the timing of intimacy was right, and carry hopes that this month might be the one, alongside fears that their period might arrive. These feelings can bring a lot of stress and pressure.
Men, too, may feel unsure how to respond to the pressure around intimacy or their partner's disappointment when her period comes, sometimes feeling flustered or, on the other hand, unintentionally distant.
At times like these, it's important first to make an effort to understand each other's feelings and support one another by putting yourselves in each other's shoes. Setting aside regular times to talk is recommended.
Rather than making it a formal "let's have a serious talk," try to chat casually during relaxed moments—like after dinner or while taking a bath together—so you can talk without pressure.
Having the Right Knowledge
Trying to conceive is about welcoming your baby together. While communication and empathy are vital, having accurate knowledge is just as important.
Nowadays, many fertility clinics offer free study sessions and seminars, ranging from those for couples just starting out to those about IVF. Attending these together can be very helpful. Taking a class doesn't mean you have to start treatment immediately, and some seminars are even available online, so you can participate regardless of where you live.
When men have knowledge equal to women's, the fertility journey tends to progress more smoothly.
Letting Go of the Hardships and Sadness of Trying
As the trying period lengthens, feelings like "Everyone else seems to be succeeding, but why isn't it working for me?" or "I'm trying so hard—why isn't it happening?" can surface, and these emotions can feel overwhelming. When that happens, joining a fertility community or support group can be a helpful option. Talking with others who share similar experiences, exchanging information, and encouraging each other can lighten your heart and help you stay positive.
It might also help to rethink how you use social media. While it's good to share and gather opinions, treatment tips, and fertility information, getting overwhelmed by too much information can cause stress, which defeats the purpose. When collecting information, be sure to check whether it's backed by solid evidence or reliable sources. Bring the information you gather together as a couple, discuss it, and incorporate it thoughtfully.
Remember, this journey is one you're taking together. Open communication, mutual support, and informed decisions will help you face the ups and downs with strength and hope. You're not alone—take it step by step, hand in hand.